I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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