just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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