It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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