i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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