If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
