I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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