You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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