this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
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