I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
