she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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