I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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