found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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