best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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