Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
