You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
