I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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