Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
