He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
