Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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