I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
she woke up with a sticky ear
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize
