Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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