This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm like, not good at living.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
