im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
