Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Your penis caused this!
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