the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
