Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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