Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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