Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Still dying that you shit outside
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
