I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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