literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
