You work out of a Hotel?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
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