I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
