Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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