I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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