I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
