I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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