Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
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I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
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You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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