hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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