Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
