And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I just googled if crying burns calories
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
