if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
we're making bets on your personal life
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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