Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
