found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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