i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
