I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
