Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
