Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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