"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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