if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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