You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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