Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
