hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
