I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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