You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
He felt like a one man threesome
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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