I faked an abortion last night.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
