I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
