Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
